


When feelings change

by VladimirVampier



Category: Banana Bus Squad
Genre: Boys Kissing, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Falling In Love, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, M/M, Worried boys, cartoonz is a good friend, delirious is a sad boy, everybody is stressed out, supportive friends, vanoss is stressed, worried friends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 19:07:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,653
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23362174
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VladimirVampier/pseuds/VladimirVampier
Summary: Delirious is known to go AWOL once in a while. But this time seems different. This time, he doesn't even talk to Vanoss. And everybody knows that means he really isn't feeling well. Can Vanoss help him? And how? Will Delirious even accept his help?
Relationships: Evan Fong/Jonathan | H2ODelirious
Comments: 6
Kudos: 115





	When feelings change

Delirious was known to go AWOL once in a while, so Vanoss wasn’t too worried in the beginning. It happened multiple times before that Delirious didn’t show up for their recording session of G-Mod, or said he had to cancel. 

Vanoss knew Delirious.

He knew the other sometimes needed time to himself. He new Delirious wasn’t always able to tell the others his needs, not even a simple ‘sorry guys, too much going on right now’. The only ones that recognised his weird way of acting was because he needed to withdrawal from the overwhelming pressure of YouTube were Evan, Moo and of course Luke.

Evan hardly contacted Luke outside of the occasional recording sessions together, but when Delirious wouldn’t respond for a while, he asked the other if the man was okay. Luke would mostly tell him that Delirious was fine, just overwhelmed or busy. Evan would always feel some kind of relief to know his friend was doing okay.

He hated not being able to be there for him and sometimes he wished he could do more. He wanted Delirious to tell him whenever he felt down, so he could distract him and make him feel better. He didn’t want Delirious to withdraw from him, he wanted to be as important to Delirious as Delirious was to him.

All the times before, when there were no new uploads to H2ODelirious’ YouTube channel, there was at least activity on his social media. A random tweet here and there or a statue picture on his Instagram. 

Not this time.

This time, H2ODelirious hadn’t uploaded anything in a month. There were no new tweets, responses or pictures uploaded to Instagram for weeks. Even the fans had gotten concerned, trying to get answers from the other members of the group. Comments on their YouTube videos, questions through Twitter, all demanding to know why Delirious seemed to have vanished off the face of the earth. 

But they didn’t know. Delirious hadn’t really spoken to any one since the last time he had to cancel. He had claimed he didn’t feel up to playing games and Nogla had wished him well. Now, months later, Moo had started a discord call, gathering everybody that was concerned about one H2ODelirious. And that were a lot of people.

Last, but not least, Cartoonz joined the call, effectively shutting everyone up. Evan hadn’t said much in the first place. He felt sick with worry, like something was very wrong with his best friend. It was silent in the call, multiple people holding their breath in anticipation. 

“I’m guessing ya’ll want to know what’s going on with Delirious,” Luke said, followed by a dry chuckle. No one said anything, so he continued. “He’s…” he said, thinking how to voice his thoughts for a moment. The hesitation made someone gasp loudly. 

“He isn’t dead is he?!”

Evan’s heart stopped beating for a moment, thoughts about what would be if that were true flooding his brain. He shook his head to get rid of the overwhelming feeling of sadness. “Of course not, Nogla! You idiot!” Tyler shouted, frustrated. He seemed angry, almost like he couldn’t be bothered, but most knew he was just as worried as them. 

“Yeah, no, he’s not dead,” Luke sighed. Somehow Evan’s mind supplied a ‘yet’ at the end of the other’s sentence. “Is he sick?” Moo’s worried voice sounded,” Last time we talked he said he wasn’t feeling too good.” Luke hummed. “He really feels like shit, that’s for sure.” 

Evan frowned. Why was Luke neither denying nor confirming their suspicions? “What’s that suppose to mean?” Brian asked. “Can’t you just tell us what’s up with him?” Lui asked. “Yeah, is it serious or not?” Nogla supplied. “And when will he come back to play with us?” Scotty asked as well. More voices and questions sounded, giving almost no time for Luke to answer any of them.

“AAAAAALRIGHT!”

Every one snapped their mouths shut at Vanoss’ sudden outburst. Evan had enough questions of his own, but he was getting tired of everyone talking through each other. They were getting nowhere like that. As everyone quieted down, a voice Evan hardly recognised spoke up.

“Luke, he really isn’t feeling alright, is he?” the voice said, sounding a bit timid. “I’m sorry,” Luke said,” He is feeling really down and done with everything. He is constantly stressed out and I think he’s just burned up… and then there’s another thing bothering him that he cannot speak about. He actually asked me not to tell you guys anything.” 

Voices popped up with worried questions about if he was feeling depressed and if they could do anything to help him feel better. Moo just sounded like a concerned mother blaming himself for not noticing something was wrong sooner. They quickly shut up when the same timid voice spoke up again. 

“Not even to Vanoss?”

It was such an innocent question, but it seemed to be fully loaded. And although no one had their cameras on, Evan still felt like they were al watching him. Suddenly he seemed to realise whom the voice belonged to. It was DeadSquirrel, the young man Delirious played so much Fortnite with. He hadn’t played much with the other, but Delirious always spoke highly of him and he seemed very nice. 

“Especially not to Vanoss.”

Evan felt he gravity of the situation dawn upon him. “Shit,” Tyler simply said. “He must be feeling really bad,” Ohm said calmly. Much to calm according to Evan’s rising anxiety. His best friend wanted to keep his feelings from him. How else could he feel? 

“Thing is,” Luke said,” He felt so stressed, that he said he quitted the internet entirely. He is done with it.” There were some murmurs, but Luke continued. “Whenever he felt like that, I’d take him out, take a break, and he’d feel better eventually,” he explained,” But this seems different. He seems more upset than last time. And I have a feeling that I now why, but I can’t do anything about it. He didn’t even want to get out of bed, let alone join me outside the house.”

Most stayed silent, not really knowing what to do with the information. They hardly knew their masked friend as close as the bearded man and to suddenly hear about such personal problems, made them feel awkward. But Delirious was their friend and they wanted him to feel good, they wanted to see him happy. Or hear him laugh at least. 

“How often does this happen?” Brian asked curiously. “Often enough,” answered both Luke and Evan. Was anybody surprised that Evan knew as much as he did? No, not really. “It’s still so hard to understand,” Lui says, sounding slightly frustrated,” He seemed fine not to long ago.” Nogla voiced his agreement. 

“That’s probably because he doesn’t want to us to know how he really feels,” Brian said,” I do the same when I feel like shit.” Tyler spoke up about Brian being a little bitch whenever there was something that upset the other. “And then you terrorize us in Golf It or Mario-kart and you feel better,” Moo said, a slight laugh in his voice. “True, true,” Brian said.

“I tried to get Delirious to play with you guys, cause he loves to do that,” Luke said,” But somehow he kept refusing and when I asked him why he didn’t want to, he said he couldn’t explain.” Evan’s head began to spin with all of the worried thoughts that clouded his brain. 

“Is there anything we can do to help him?” Moo asked and once again Evan was grateful for their caring mom-like friend. Moo asked the questions he couldn’t seem to ask. “I’d appreciate it if ya’ll kept trying to contact him, ask him to play games, it’ll help if he sees how much you guys care about him,” Luke said,” Meanwhile, I’m gonna try to stop him from deleting his YouTube channel.” And with that final bombshell, Luke left the call.

After a minute of silence, Tyler spoke. “Any one wanna play some CoD to distract ourselves?” Brian, Nogla and Marcel agreed. Ohm excused himself and left the call. Scotty, Moo, BigJigglyPanda and some others decided to record some Golf It videos, like they had planned to do. Gorrilaphent had left the call as quietly as he had entered and stayed during said call. 

Eventually it was only Evan and DeadSquirrel left. “You okay?” Squirrel asked softly. Evan shook his head. “Yeah.” He didn’t know how to feel or what to think. And why did he have the dreadful feeling that it was his fault? The last message he had received from his mysterious friend was ‘I’m sorry’. At the time he had been to busy recording to read it. Hours later, he responded with the question what he meant by that he was sorry, sorry for what? But he never got an answer. 

He tried to call multiple times but everything he tried, he was send straight to voicemail. At one time, the messages he send daily went from ‘read’ to ‘delivered’ and eventually to ‘send’. At first he thought nothing of it, knowing Delirious would sometimes turn his phone off. But the longer he got no response, the more he began to worry. And after hearing Luke confirm that Delirious was very much not alright, he felt so overcome by emotions that he didn’t know what to do with them. 

“Vanoss?” Squirrel asked, interrupting his train of thoughts,” Delirious will be okay, right?” Evan tried not to sigh, Squirrel was just trying to be hopeful even tho he felt super worried. “Yeah, we’ll try and talk to him and then he’ll realise how much he misses us,” Evan said, sounding way more certain than he felt,” Why don’t you go and see if he wants to play some Minecraft with you?” 

“I’ll try my best,” Squirrel said,” I just… miss him…” Evan felt a small smile grace his lips. “I do too.” He was ready to click the ‘end call’ button before the other spoke up again. “Oh and Vanoss? I’m sure that if he hears how much you miss him, he’ll come right back.” 

And with those final words, Squirrel left the call, leaving Evan alone with his jumbled thoughts.

////////////////////

It’s been another couple of weeks of no answered calls and no response to his texts from Delirious. It was driving Evan insane with worry. He had tried everything to get his friend to talk to him. He kept trying to call him, at multiple times a day. He send him serious words of support, pictures of his cat and silly memes. He even tried to contact him through discord, steam and all kinds of programs where there was a chat option. 

And in the meantime he was still playing with the others, recording, editing and posting videos without any H2ODelirious content. People still demanded to know why he wasn’t playing with the crazy clown. He didn’t have the heart to tell them it was actually the other way around. He didn’t like to dwell on the fact his best friend wasn’t playing with him anymore. How would those subscribers feel if they were in his place? 

If only they knew the truth.

Evan sighed. The stress of having to deal with those people, record and upload as well, on top of the increasing worry about Delirious was making him feel frustrated and exhausted. As he rubbed his eyes and groaned, he decided that he needed to do something about it. He couldn’t go on like this. Not knowing what was happening with his friend, not being able to ask him, to talk to him. There was no way to confront Delirious, especially if he didn’t pick up his phone. Unless…

An idea began to form in his head. There was only one way of confronting Delirious and that was face-to-face. Seeing as they’ve never met face-to-face, it would seem impossible. The one thing Evan knew about Delirious’ hometown was that it was located in North Carolina. 

The Christmas presents had always been send to a P.O. box that might or might not be near his house. Nothing solid enough to go from. How was he to ever get to his friend, which he needed to see to get his answers, if no one knew where he lived? 

“Wait a minute,” he muttered to the empty room. Only one person he knew of besides Delirious himself knew where he lived. Luke. Delirious’ long time friend, the one that knew what he looked like and would murder a man to keep his secrets safe.

Before he realised, his phone already portrayed the contact ‘Cartoonz’ being called. “Evan,” Luke greeted after a couple of seconds,” I expected you to call sooner.” Evan frowned, unsure of what the other meant. “Luke,” he said. It was silent for a bit, Evan trying to figure out how to ask the other to break his loyalty and promises.

“How is he?” he asked carefully. Luke sighed and sounded exhausted as he spoke. “He’s… not good. I hoped he would’ve gotten better by now.” Evan absentmindedly nodded. “Is it my fault?” he asked. He hardly new why he asked it, but it was a question that had been on his mind a lot.

“Evan, listen carefully,” Luke said after a stunned moment of silence,” Do not take any of this personal. But, I think you’re part of the reason he doesn’t want to come back to YouTube.” Evan felt his body freeze and his breathing stop for a moment. What had he done to make his friend so upset that he stopped doing the very thing he loved to do most?

“Evan,” Luke said sternly, pulling him from his thoughts,” How long have you know Jon for?” Evan blinked, thinking hard. “A very long time,” was his answer. “We both know that not everything is as it seems when it comes to Delirious. Did you ever have a moment where you realised your feelings changed?” 

Evan felt confused. “I don’t know. Nothing really seemed to change, maybe gradually, but…” He heard Luke sigh. “Don’t you feel closer to him than to all the others. For example, do you feel closer to Delirious than to Moo, who’ve you known longer?” Evan began to feel dizzy, trying to come up with the right answer to the other’s question. Thing was, there wasn’t a clear answer.

“We do talk often, text everyday. And there was these times were he called me because of a nightmare he had. He called me in the middle of the night, terrified, asking me if I was alright,” Evan let out a chuckle,” even tho I wasn’t the one who was about to cry. We talked till we fell asleep.”

Evan thought back to that moment, remembering how scared Delirious had sounded and how his stomach had done summersaults when he heard him say how much he meant to him. That was the first time they talked about such serious and personal things. What their fears were and what scared them the most. 

It was since then that they had grown closer and learned so much more about each other. He remembers how his heart would speed up if he saw Delirious’ name as the caller ID or how much he looked forward to the stupid meme Delirious would send him at 5 am because the other couldn’t sleep. 

Or the random facts Delirious choose to share with him, because he thought Evan might be interested as well. And then there’s the feeling of a rush of excitement whenever Delirious chose to hide with him during a round of Hide & Seek, or how he would chant Evan’s name to get his attention to show him some funny glitches in the game.

“Text me once you’ve figured it out,” Luke said,” I’ll give you the information you desire. But only after you’ve figured it out. And trust me I’ll now whether you did or not.” Evan felt confused again. “Figure what out? And how do you know what kind of info I want?” Luke chuckled. “Because I am not that obvious.”

Before Evan could ask more, Luke ended the call. Well, that had been eventful. What did he mean by figuring things out? And why had he suggested he was oblivious? Oblivious to what?!

He got up from his chair and started to pace the room. His thoughts going on a rampage. Why did Luke ask about his feelings? He knew what he felt. Right? Nothing changed. Right? Or did Delirious’ feelings change? What if it did and he now disliked to play with Evan? And because the others played so much with him, he didn’t want to play with them as well. Maybe Evan had been pushing to much for the other to play with him and Delirious felt pressured. Was that the reason Delirious wanted to quit YouTube? Because he hated Evan? 

He couldn’t, that’d mean he would never have the chance to talk to Delirious again. He felt panic starting to rise the more he thought about it. Never talking to Jon again, never getting to play with him again, never hearing him laugh because of something Evan had done. He couldn’t have that. 

He’d be absolutely miserable without the other. Life wouldn’t be the same without a bit of mad clown in it. He couldn’t lose the other. A part of his brain supplied questions like ‘why did Delirious mean so much to him?, ‘why would it be the end of the world to lose him?’, or ‘I’ve lost friends before, but why would this be so bad?”.

He felt so lost.

A sigh left his lips as he sagged down on the edge of his bed. All those thoughts made his head hurt and although he felt like he was close to the answers he sought, he decided to no longer torture himself with thinking about it. After eating a bit, sending Moo a text and changing into his pyjama’s, he laid down in bed. 

His phone vibrated on his nightstand and he went to take a look. It was an answer from Brock. ‘I wish I could help, but you really have to figure this one out for yourself. I’m sorry.’ Evan groaned. He had hoped the other could make sense of what he was feeling and he had the sneaking suspicion that Brock knew. He groaned again and closed his eyes, hoping that sleep would come quickly and end his ability to think. He didn’t have to wait long before his exhaustion dragged him under.

//////////////

It was three days after his phone call with Luke that he awoke with a start, shooting upright in bed. His hand stretched out to catch the fleeting image of a man. He had dreamed of maniacal laughter and the colour blue. The sound of a beating heart in his ears and a lump in his throat.   
He immediately grabbed his phone and send a simple message to Luke.

‘I love him.’

The response was immediate. ‘Good. Now get him back for me.’ followed by an address in North Carolina. Evan couldn’t help but smile as he went online to order a plane ticket, hardly wasting time in packing his stuff and ordering an Uber to take him to the airport. After quickly shovelling a kind-of-but-not-really breakfast in his mouth, he was on his way to meet his best friend for the very first time.

And he still couldn’t quite believe it. But once his airplane took off, pilot informing them of their destination, it suddenly became very real. And he became very nervous. What was he even going to say? Should he send Delirious a warning that he was coming? If he knew he was coming, would he even want to let him in? He texted Luke instead. 

The bearded man asked him when he landed so he could pick him up at the airport, but Evan refused. He’d take a cab, as long as Luke made sure Delirious was at home. He didn’t want to bother the other any more than he had to. ‘He is at home, hasn’t left his house in days.’ was the response. Evan sighed and leaned back in his seat.

It would be a couple of hours before they’d land in North Carolina, so he decided to watch a crappy action movie on the tiny screen in front of him. Eventually he fell asleep, dreaming of how it would be to finally see the face behind the mask.

Evan had been staring out of the window of the cab, soaking in all the information he could get of Jon’s hometown. It wasn’t all that big and they just passed by a small town square where he had spotted the local post office, probably the same one where all his presents to Delirious got send to. 

The driver informed him that they were nearing the destination and Evan nodded. He began to feel nervous again, still unsure of what to say or how the other would react upon seeing him on his doorstep out of the blue. He didn’t have time to think about it, the cab came to a screeching halt in the middle of the street. The driver parked the car besides the curb and Evan got out. Grabbing his bag out of the trunk, he pulled out his wallet and paid the cab driver. He thanked him for the tip and wished him a nice day, before he pulled out of park and drove off.

Evan felt suddenly very vulnerable, staring up at the little house that apparently belonged to his good friend. It wasn’t all that big, but he imagined it was spacious enough for one man. Besides, the other houses in the street were about the same size. Suddenly he froze, mid-step on his way to the front door. Was Delirious alone in that house? He never heard the other claim otherwise, but then again, there was a lot more information the masked man didn’t share about himself. 

His heart sunk at the thought of Delirious having a significant other running through the house, maybe even kids. He shook his head. No. He would’ve known if that were true, Delirious wouldn’t have been able to keep it a secret if there was someone that had stolen his heart. He would be far too excited.

A voice popped up in his head. But Delirious hadn’t told him what was wrong with him. He hadn’t even told him something was wrong in the first place, suggesting he didn’t tell him everything. Evan shook his head again, rational thoughts fighting his insecure side. Luke had told him enough to know that changes were high that Delirious felt the same. 

Changes were even higher that the other was simply frightened by it. He once confined into Evan he had a fear of abandonment, how bad would it be to fall in love with someone you haven’t even met yet, they could easily leave you. The realisation that he had fallen in love with his friend must’ve caught him just as off guard as it did Evan. To accept those feelings for what they were wasn’t easy and a bit overwhelming.

And if Evan knew Delirious well enough- no, scratch that. Evan   
knew Delirious well enough to know the other felt like he had to protect their friendship, to keep his feelings hidden and let it swallow him whole. The old cliché of believing the other would never feel the same and not wanting the chance of losing their friendship by confessing. Delirious must’ve realised sometime back how he felt and the only way he knew how to deal with his feelings was to run away from them and deny everything.

Evan sighed, but smiled softly. If only Delirious knew how much he meant to Evan. But then again, he had hardly let the other known, so it wasn’t all that fair. He put his bag down and rang the doorbell, feeling like a man with a mission. Which he was. His mission was to tell his best friend how he felt about him, to get him to stop running from him and to get him to tell him everything that was bothering him. Even if he didn’t want to talk, Evan would make him.

Suddenly, the doorknob rattled and the door slowly opened. Evan held in his breath, heart beating a mile a minute. A tuft of dark brown hair appeared, blue eyes peeking through the gap of the door, frown on his face. 

“Delir-”  
The door was slammed shut in his face.  
“-ious.”

For a moment, all Evan could think of was the look of realisation on the other’s face, ocean blue eyes widened in shock. He thought he had spotted something black in the other’s ears, some freckles on pale cheeks. He hadn’t seen a lot of the other yet, but he already knew he fell even more in love.

“Delirious,” he called out, knocking on the door. No response. “Delirious, please.”  
“No!”  
Evan was momentarily taken back by the fact he heard his friend’s voice for the very first time in real life, although there was still a buffer between them, this time it was a door instead of a microphone.   
“You c-can’t be here! Y-you just can’t!”

Evan placed his head on the wood of the door. So close and yet… “Please, Delirious,” he said, loud enough so the other could hear him,” I’m sorry for showing up out of the blue, but you didn’t give me a choice. You wouldn’t talk to me. What was I to do?” He could vaguely hear some noise, suggesting Delirious stood right on the other side of the door. He pictured the other leaning back against the wood, as if to make sure that he couldn’t enter. Even tho he wanted to, Evan couldn’t break down the door.

The one thing standing in between him and the love of his life.

“Delirious…?” he called softly. There was no answer, but instead he could vaguely hear conversation. He guessed Delirious had called Luke, he could make out words like ‘Vanoss’, ‘not ready’ and ‘I can’t’. There was a moment of silence before he could hear Delirious talk louder. “I can’t do this Luke, I can’t!” he practically yelled. Then with a final ‘go fuck yourself’ he hung up. At least, that’s what Evan presumed, since it was silent.

He suddenly heard the telltale sound of someone sobbing. “Delirious, please! Let me in,” he called in desperation. He couldn’t stand the fact that he stood outside, so close to his hurting friend, but not close enough to be able to hold him. Evan’s mind was coming up with many ways to break into the other’s house to get to him (chuck a brick at the window, use bodily force to slam through the door), when the door opened a second time.

Evan immediately pushed through when the gap was big enough. Once he closed the door behind him, he turned to stare at the other man. He would look at the interior some other time. For a moment, they just stood there. Evan staring at the red puffy eyes, tears streaks down slightly freckled cheeks. He took it all in. 

The dark brown mop of hair, which was shorter on the sides, slightly falling in front of his eyes. His stunning blue eyes. The small black rings in the upper right ear, black studs in each earlobe. He noticed the black shirt atop skinny jeans, the clenched fists that barely revealed black painted nails, pale skin flushed red. All by all, Delirious was absolutely gorgeous. At least, that’s what Evan thought. And in that moment, the other bolted as if he was catapulted away from Evan. Reflexes so quick he hardly registered them, made him grab Delirious’ wrist. 

“Don’t.” 

He felt and saw Delirious tense, turned away from him. “Delirious- Jonathan,” Evan said,” Don’t run from me.” The other man stopped trying to tug his arm free. Evan softly tugged on the arm in his grab, making the other turn towards him. Brown met blue and both tried not to shiver at the electricity that ran through their bodies. Evan loosened his grip, not wanting to let go completely in case the other ran away from him again. Jonathan didn’t pull away.

“Why- ahem,” Jon said, scraping his throat, which sounded dry,” Why are you here?” Evan smiled softly at him, whishing the other would stop frowning so much. “To talk to you.” Jon shook his head. “Could’ve done that through the phone,” he muttered. Evan sighed. “To get you to talk to me,” he admitted.

Jonathan averted his eyes, white teeth biting his lower lip. “I need you to talk to me,” Evan said, softly tugging on the fingers in his,” I need you to tell me what is wrong.” Jon shook his head, closing his eyes. “I am here now, Jon,” he said,” You can tell me. I won’t judge.” He could see Jonathan began to breath heavy, body tensing up. “Please, tell me. You know you can tell me anything. I listen, I will listen to anything you have to tell me. Am I not your friend? Don’t you trust me-?”

“Stop!” Jon suddenly yelled, harshly pulling his hand back,” I can’t! You know I can’t!” Evan felt the energy bursting free from the other, almost taking a step back at the force. “Yes, you can!” he shouted back,” Tell me what is making you so upset!” 

“You! You are!”

Evan froze, mid-step towards Jonathan. The other seemed to stiffen, defensive walls up high. But the walls began to crumble slowly. “You really want to know why I’ve been ignoring you? Why I no longer want to play with you?!” The words stung, but Evan knew it was just another defence mechanism. Jon was trying to make him feel hurt, or angry, to get him to leave. Though luck for him, Evan wasn’t going anywhere.

“Cause that’s what’s going on,” Jon kept his voice at a high volume and it seemed to already strain his voice,” I am ignoring you! I tried so hard to get away from you! I stopped reading your text long ago, didn’t see the stupid memes you send me.” Jon began to pace, body tense and hands flailing widely. 

“I don’t want to play with you anymore. I don’t want to hang out,” he continued. Evan noticed the other’s words and movement began to falter. “I don’t want to text each other stupid facts, I don’t want your stupid cat photo’s, I-I don’t want to chat, or call you up in the middle of the night because I had a bad dream.”

The fire in his eyes dimmed, pacing slowing don to a full stop. “I don’t want to know how you’re doing, I don’t want to hear you laugh, I don’t want to listen to you describe your ideal vacation…and wish I could come along…” Jonathan dropped his arms besides his body, head hung low. “I-I don’t want to meet you so I can hug you and hold you close, I d-don’t want to dream about you every night,” he started to slightly hiccup, tears forming in his eyes,” I don’t want to w-wish for you to k-k-kiss me, I don’t w-want to want you… But I do.”

Evan stayed silent, heart beating fast at the confessions being thrown at him. He felt bad for the other, to have kept it all inside for so long and now it all sprang forth. Jonathan slowly lifted his head, tear-filled eyes connecting with brown one’s. “I don’t like you anymore,” he said, lips trembling as he bit harshly into them. Jon expected Evan to turn away in disgust, to walk out the door, out of his life, never to be seen again. 

But instead, Evan smiled at him, gaze warm and loving as he looked at the other and stepped towards him. Softly pulling him into a hug, he whispered in Jon’s ear. “You’re a terrible liar.” He held the other close, arms around his waist and shoulders, locking him in place. As Jon hid his face into Evan’s chest, a chuckle escaped his lips. That chuckle turned into laughter, bordering on maniacal. 

While Jonathan’s laughter slowly turned into sobs, Evan took his time to get familiar with what made Jonathan. The spicy scent he breathed in while he kissed Jon’s temple, the way he felt in his arms. The fact that he was barely taller than the other, making it perfect for Jon to lay his head on Evan’s shoulder. The contrast between skin tones, Jon’s looking even paler next to the tanned Canadian’s one. 

As Jonathan’s trembling died down, Evan loosened his grip to be able to look at the other. He wouldn’t admit that he thought the other looked beautiful, blue eyes wide and glistening with tears, lower lip red and abused by white teeth. “Did you come all that way just to call me a liar?” he asked softly. Evan could clearly see the uncertainty in his eyes. He moved his hands to both sides of Jon’s face.

“I came here because I was desperate,” he said softly,” I was so worried about you. I didn’t know what to do.” Jon averted his eyes, guilty expression on his face. “So you decided to waist money on a plane ticket and hope I was at home?” he asked, trying to make it sound like a joke, but Evan knew better.

A thumb softly rubbed over freckled cheeks, making Jon look back up at Evan. The Canadian looked at him with so much unrestrained emotion in his eyes, it made him want to fidget. Good thing his hands were already grabbing the front of Evan’s shirt.

“I could never waist anything on you,” Evan said,” You’re worth anything.” Evan could see the disbelief on the other’s face up close. “Why?” Evan smiled at him. “Because I care about you, a lot. I want you to be happy,” he said as if that explained everything. Jon just frowned. “You are my friend, why wouldn’t I worry about you?” 

Jonathan shrugged. “After all I’ve done? I don’t know…” Evan frowned as well. “You were overwhelmed, stressed out, afraid. I don’t blame you for anything,” he said sternly,” I only wished you told me what was bothering you, so I could’ve helped you.” Jon shook his head. “I couldn’t tell you. I’m sorry,” he said, visibly getting upset again.

“Why not?” Evan asked. “Because then I had to tell you that I am in love with you and you would’ve freaked out and never talk to me again and I couldn’t live with that.” Jon closed his eyes, feeling the hands on his face slightly tensing. He was afraid to look the other in the eyes, afraid of the emotions swarming in them. 

“So instead you stopped talking to me?” Evan asked sounding confused. “Can’t have people not wanting to talk to you if you don’t talk to them,” Jon murmured. Evan let out a startled laugh. It didn’t make any sense at all and that was so typically Delirious. He almost started laughing again after seeing the offended look Jon gave him.

“You’re so stupid,” he said fondly,” and that’s why I love you so much.” The offended look on Jon’s face made place for one full of shock. Blue eyes wide and dull as if his mind was anywhere else but in that moment. Evan could practically see smoke coming from Jon’s ears and hear his brain work overtime. Just when Evan was concerned by the lack of response, Jon got even paler in the face, lips trembling and eyes brightening. And he looked at Evan, really at him, as if he only now realised that the other was there in front of him.

“Y-you l-love me…?” 

Evan couldn’t help himself, he pressed his lips softly to Jon’s. Both pair of eyes slipped shut, both taking a moment to let it all become real. Evan was really in North Carolina, in Jon’s home. Vanoss really had finally met H2ODelirious. Evan really loved him back and was currently trying to prove it by kissing him. 

Evan pulled back, wanting to dive right back in for another kiss. “Yes, you big doofus. I love you,” he said, wrapping his arms back around the other. Jonathan was smiling, hugging him back. “I love you too!” Evan chuckled and Jon laughed softly. “Yeah, I kinda figured.”

They looked at each other, realising what idiots they were and started laughing. “That’s how I want to see you…happy,” Evan said,” Now don’t ever do such a stupid thing again. I know where you live.” Jon chuckled and pecked the other on the lips. I promise. I’m sorry.”

Evan kissed him again, quickly deepening it. They pulled back when they felt the need for oxygen. Jon’s hands were buried in Evan’s longer locks of hair, relishing in how soft it felt. Evan’s hands were on Jon’s hips, softly kneading them. “Aren’t you wondering how I knew where you lived?” Evan asked curiously. Jon shook his head. 

“Not really, I suspect Luke immediately. With everything, ever,” he shrugged,” Besides, I think he was so done with my mopey ass, that he was ready to personally drag you here and make me confess. It isn’t like he tried to make me do it over and over again.” Evan chuckled as Jon rolled his eyes. 

“He’s a good friend,” Evan said. “He’s a pain in the ass.” Evan shot him a look, softly squeezing the hips in his grip. “Alright. He’s actually a really good friend,” Jon said with a sigh. “The best?” Evan asked. “Nah, that spot’s taken,” Jon said casually. He moved his fingers through Evan’s hair. “Oh really? By whom?” Evan grinned.

“Ohm.”

Evan sputtered in protest, releasing his hold on the other. “I’m kidding, I’m kidding!” Jon called, tightening his grip on the Canadian. He laughed. He laughed and Evan could only dwell on the fact that he missed that sound for a second. “You know you’re the best,” Jon said, pulling Evan in for a quick kiss. “Of course I am,” the Canadian said, lazily wrapping his arms around Jon.

Another quick kiss. “I’ll be sure to tell Luke,” he said, chuckling softly. There was a sudden buzzing sound and Evan felt Jon’s phone vibrate in his back pocket. That definitely wasn’t because his hands had been wandering, no sir. Jon let go of the other, getting his phone out of his pocket, content to stay in Evan’s arms. “Speak of the demon and he shall appear,” Jon said, showing Evan the caller ID. He pressed ‘accept’ and immediately the bearded man’s voice filled the silence. “Ya two done making out yet-?”

Jonathan hung up. Evan laughed as he saw the blush creeping on Jon’s face. “That bitch,” he grumbled,” I take it back. He’s a shit friend.” Evan wanted to tease the other, secretly happy that colour had returned to Jon’s cheeks, but got interrupted by the vibrating of his own phone. He didn’t need to look to know who it was.

“Hey, Luke,” he answered the phone, shooting Jon a smile. He kept one arm around the other. “Seriously, are you two done? Cause I wanted to come over, but I can do without the image of you shoving your tongue down my lil’ bro’s throat.” Evan snorted. Luke had a very subtle way with words. Not.

“It’s all good,” he said, focusing on Jon who was picking at the nail polish on his thumbs. He could hear Luke sigh in relief. “Thank fuck. I’ll be over in a few, I’ll bring beer.” Evan moved his hand to Jon’s face, who snuggled into it. They smiled. “If you wanna make him happy, start up Friday the 13th. He loves that movie,” Luke said. “Figured. And of course I want to make him happy,” he answered, looking straight into Jonathan’s eyes,” see you in bit.”

Jon raised an eyebrow. “What was that about?” he asked. Evan gave him a quick kiss. “Nothing. Just Luke being a good friend.” Jon snorted as Evan pocketed his phone. “That most of the times means he’s being overprotective,” he said. Jon started telling Evan about the time where Luke punched some guy in the face for flirting with Jon as they walked to the living room to sit on the couch. Their legs became sore from standing for so long. 

“He claimed the dude ‘looked at me wrong’ like wtf. That don’t give him no reason to punch the poor dude a black eye!” Evan chuckled as he pulled Jon close to his side, wrapping an arm around him. “I’d do the same.” Jon snorted, again. “Course you would,” he said as he snuggled into the warmth that was provided by the Canadian. 

Suddenly he gasped and shot upright. “I didn’t even get you something to drink! What a terrible host I am.” Evan chuckled. “It’s fine, we were… otherwise occupied.” Jon laughed as he stood up from the couch. “But I’d like a glass of water, if you don’t mind,” Evan said. “Of course I don’t mind! I’ll get it right now,” Jon said and left for the kitchen. 

Evan sat there, looking at the simple decorated style of the room and the big TV screen on the opposite wall. “Uhh, how do I turn on your TV?” Evan called after the other. “Just use the app on my phone,” Jon called back. Evan looked around, spotting Jon’s phone on the coffee table. “It’s locked,” he said, loud enough for the other to hear. He was going to pretend that he wasn’t feeling butterflies when he saw Jon’s background was an H2OVanoss art piece. He’d have to replace that one with a picture of them together.

“Use code-” Jon began, but Evan interrupted him. “Moo?” Jonathan laughed so loud, Evan could hear him from the living room. Good thing there was an open floor plan in Jon’s house. “No, close. It’s 666.” Evan snickered and mumbled a ‘of course it is’. 

Jon returned with two glasses of water, just as Evan pulled up his Netflix and started up Friday the 13th. “Oooooh, this is my favourite. Jason is in it,” Jon said, looking excited. “Oh really? I didn’t know,” Evan deadpanned, earning him a punch in the shoulder. He chuckled when the intro of the movie distracted Jon. He sometimes forgot the other was actually older than he was. And when those gleam filled eyes turned towards him, he couldn’t help but steal a kiss.

And another.

And another.

Before he had a change to deepen it, the doorbell rang. Jon pulled back with a smile. “You order us some pizza,” he said as he went to open the door,” You know what I like.” Evan smiled and nodded. Pulling out his phone, he listened amusedly at Jon greeting his long time friend.

“You fucking jerk,” he growled. “Whiney bitch,” was shot back. They then hugged and Evan witnessed the emotions that filled Luke’s face as he held the man he considered a brother. Evan was done ordering pizza when Luke walked over to him and dumped a duffle bag on his lap. Evan felt like he could hit his head against a wall. That was his duffle bag. That he had left outside. Luke chuckled as he sat down in the lounge chair. 

Jon went back to the kitchen to grab a bottle opener to open the beers Luke had brought. As soon as Jon was far away enough, Luke leaned forward, staring Evan in the yes with a cold look. “You know the deal,” Luke grumbled,” You hurt him, you’re dead.” Evan almost choked on his water as he saw the dangerous look in the other’s eyes. He nodded. “Good,” Luke said, leaning back in the chair.

Jon returned with the bottle opener and walked over to Luke to smack him on the head. “Behave,” he said,” I only just got this one, no need to scare him away.” Luke rolled his eyes, but smiled fondly. “Took ya long enough.” Jon shot him a look and flipped him off, before sitting back down besides Evan. He un-paused the movie before leaning back against Evan. 

They were a quarter into the movie when the doorbell rang again. Luke opened the door and accepted the pizzas. He paid, much to Jon’s dismay. “See it as a way of me treating you guys on this celebratory day,” he said with a wink and a cheeky smile. Jon hid his face in his hands and groaned. Evan laughed and pecked him on the head. 

Jon’s eyes glistened with mischief as he pulled Evan close to kiss him right on the lips, much to Luke’s horror. “Gross! Keep it PG!” he shouted as he averted his eyes. Jon and Evan simply laughed before focussing back on the movie. Jon revelled in the warmth of Evan’s arms around him, enjoying a good movie and good pizza. 

And even tho Luke fake gagged every time the two looked at each other like they were madly in love, he supported them and felt happy for them. At least he didn’t have to deal with depressed Jonathan and stressed out Evan anymore. And Evan? He felt like he couldn’t be happier. Gazing at the beautiful man beside him, watching the happiness on his face and the love in hi eyes. He wouldn’t want to be anywhere else than next to his now boyfriend. 

Huh. What a funny thing to say.

Delirious was his boyfriend.


End file.
